It wasn’t until last summer when I decided I needed to know how to protect myself from one of these brutes. I was walking down an alley when all the sudden 3 huge Rotty’s and a Pit-bull came tearing down a backyard and jumping at my face. Thank God there was a steel fence in the way or I would’ve been puppy chow. I nearly jumped out of my pants they came at me so fast. They were all massive, 100 lb’s plus easily, and for some reason or other they were pissed as hell ready to destroy the lanky 6ft tall kid in front of them. There they were barking so loud, clawing, digging and jumping at the fence, I remember one looking like it was getting ready to clear it- it literally had its hind legs inches away from the top post at 6 feet high. I kept walking though, as if it didn’t faze me that I was nearly eaten. Back at home, I quickly got online and looked up ways to fight off mad dogs like those I had just encountered. Here’s what I found out… Tip one: never look the dog in the eye if it is slowly approaching you- keep calm, speak softly to it, and try to make it sit, lay, roll over, etc… Tip 2: If the dog is coming at you full-speed ahead, running is an option but not a very good one; save your energy, Rots are twice as fast of the average human, you’re better off bracing yourself face to face ready to fight than getting tackled in the back, weakening you’re chances of survival. Kicking, I hear, doesn’t work too well; a dog’s reaction time is so much greater than that of humans- you’ll end up missing or only just swiping it. Tip 3: when the dog tackles you (which it will), shield yourself with whatever you can to keep the dog from biting your face or neck, i.e. a stick, a book-bag, a friend… After that it’s you’re move, try beating it hard in the snout or head with a heavy object, punching will hardly do anything when you’re on the ground. If you have nothing at hand, cover your face and neck and crawl up into a ball.
Animal #2: the bear. This could go for both the grizzly and the black bear. You won’t find any grizzlies around these parts of town, but just in case you take a trip to Yellowstone or Alaska, I want you to be prepared for the worst. Let’s get one thing straight, Grizzlies and black bears are almost complete opposites of each other- they act different, they look different, and they live in different areas. So make sure you know which one you’re defending yourself from before you screw something up and have your head torn off, literally.
Being a boy scout for the better half of my life has taught me many of things; how to tie knots, how to pitch a tent, how to cook over an open fire, etc… One of the most memorable teachings I have taken part of at a summer camp was that of a survival class some 4 or so years ago. “Bear attacks are very rare but they do happen,” I remember the guy saying; I found out that you’re actually more likely to be struck by lightning than be attacked by a bear. Nonetheless we didn’t hesitate learn. I have personally only encountered a a black bear twice, once at a petting zoo and the other in New Mexico while on a week-long hiking trip. It was crazy, the bear (in New Mexico) was just minding its own business, tossing a rock around about 40 feet away while I stood there shakin’ in my boots- it then walked away and that was the end of that.
Anyway, some things you should know about bears: 1: like most mammals, bears are territorial and very protective of their young, so stay away from their cubs at all costs, or you will die immediately. 2: if you leave bears alone, chances are they will leave you alone; they don’t want an encounter as much as you don’t. 3: A bears weight alone can kill a person; some black bears are only about half the size of some full grown grizzly’s but are still very big, adult black bears can reach up to to 600 lb’s or more, while some Alaskan Grizzlies exceed 1000 lbs. 4: Black bears eat plants and meat, mostly plants though- grizzlies prey on moose, deer, etc…
Survival tip number 1: if ever you were to stumble in to a bear, do not look it in the eyes or it will think you are trying to start something, unless of course you are trying to start something… either way I wouldn’t recommend it, it is likely they become very offended and kill you. Tip #2 put your food, if any, on the ground; bears, especially black bears are always looking for food and they can smell anything, literally anything- from a bagged lunch to crumbs in your pocket, even a nalgene water bottle that only once had Gatorade in it. Tip 3: back off slowly; if you run, the bear will mistake you for prey and then chase and kill you. Tip 4: if all of this fails and the bear is about to attack, stay calm and follow my instructions. For a black bear, playing dead won’t work like it might for grizzlies, black bears will just toy with you and beat you up if you play dead, basically take advantage of you, to survive a black bear attack try and make yourself look as big, aggressive and scary as possible, this will seriously scare the bear off. If you have a friend, get on his shoulders, shout and yell, act like you’re bigger than the bear- he/she will become scared because it doesn’t want to fight and it will run away, unless you have one of its cubs in hand, in which case you will die. If it is still coming at you, then you have no other option than to fight back- do not run and do not climb a tree. Use anything from sticks, to rocks, to your bare fists to try and fight it off.
Grizzlies can be a little more serious, and quite honestly you have little chance of surviving one of these things. Do everything I said for a black bear except trying to scare it off. You try and ward off a grizzly it will laugh at you and then kill you. If it attacks you just crawl up in to a ball and pray; it won’t think of you as a threat anymore and it will leave, but bears are known to wait and watch from a distance if their victim gets up again so wait on the ground for a little bit after it leaves.
To be continued…
Jeeze thats scary..interesting thing to write about. I really have never heard of anyone being chased by dogs before ive only ever seen that in the movies. Crazy!
ReplyDeletethis is funny... how you can write about avoiding this animal attacks but also it is entertaining. good job writing it
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